Choosing gifts for bereaved friends in Israel can be challenging, particularly if you live far away and aren't sure what is acceptable in your culture. While you want to be consoling, you don't want to go too far. You want to be considerate without becoming obtrusive. When given thoughtfully, the proper gift can convey everything that words cannot.
Whether you’re a childhood friend, a college roommate, a former neighbor, or simply someone who cares, sending a small and sincere present can remind your grieving friend that they’re not alone.
This guide will help you understand how to choose the right gift, when to send it, and how to do it properly when your friend is sitting shiva or mourning in Israel.
Why Gifts Matter During Grief
A person’s entire life shifts in an instant after losing a loved one. In Israel, the grieving process follows Jewish customs that are deeply rooted in tradition. One of the most critical parts is shiva, a seven-day mourning period where the immediate family stays at home, receives visitors, and reflects.
During that time, people often don’t cook or shop. Family and visitors surround them. They’re emotionally and physically drained. A gift, especially one that offers comfort or meets a basic need, can help without intruding.
The purpose of gifts for those who are grieving is not to lift their spirits. Even if you are unable to be there in person, they are about acknowledging their suffering, honoring their loss, and letting them know you are thinking of them.
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When selecting a gift for a grieving friend, especially in Israel, it’s essential to be sensitive to both personal and cultural expectations. Here are some of the most thoughtful and commonly appreciated types of presents:
1. Food Baskets
Food is a natural and practical gift. It helps take pressure off the family and provides something that can be shared with visitors.
Recommended items include:
- Fresh fruit
- Kosher baked goods
- Crackers and spreads
- Dried fruits and nuts
- Herbal tea
Food gifts should be simple and understated. Avoid anything too festive, rich, or heavily decorated. The purpose is comfort, not indulgence.
2. Comfort Items
Some people prefer to send gifts that offer quiet comfort. These might include:
- A soft blanket or throw
- A simple candle (without a strong scent or color)
- Herbal tea sets
- A journal and pen for personal reflection
Comfort items should be modest and feel appropriate for the mood. Stay away from bright colors, luxury items, or anything that draws too much attention.
3. Books on Grief or Memory
A gentle book about loss, healing, or memory can be meaningful. This is more appropriate if you know your friend is someone who finds comfort in reading or reflection.
Avoid books that try to explain or fix grief. Stick with titles that offer peace, personal stories, or Jewish mourning customs if relevant.
4. Charitable Donations
If you know the family’s wishes, you may donate in memory of the deceased. This is common in Jewish tradition and is often listed in obituaries or shiva notices.
You can mention this in your condolence card, for example: “In memory of your mother, we’ve donated to [organization].”
What Not to Send
Equally important as what to send is knowing what to avoid. In Jewish tradition, certain things are considered inappropriate during mourning.
- Do not send flowers. This is not a part of traditional mourning in Israel and is generally avoided.
- Avoid alcohol. Even if the family drinks typically, shiva is not a time for celebration.
- Skip flashy packaging. Gift wrap, bows, or colorful ribbons are not needed. Plain, clean presentation is best.
- Don’t send anything too personal or sentimental unless you know your friend well. Keep the tone gentle and quiet.
When to Send a Gift
Timing matters when it comes to grieving. In Israel, the mourning period begins immediately after the funeral. The first seven days are known as shiva, and this is when families receive visitors and are most in need of support.
If you’re sending a gift, try to arrange delivery during shiva or just after. Gifts that arrive later can still be meaningful, especially if your friend lives alone or doesn’t have many visitors.
Here’s a general guide:
- Best time: Days 1 to 5 of Shiva
- Still appropriate: Days 6 to 10
- Later: Still welcome, but include a card acknowledging the timing.
Even if your gift arrives slightly late, the thought and effort will still be appreciated.
How to Send a Gift to Israel from Abroad
If you don’t live in Israel, sending a gift could seem challenging. But it doesn’t have to be. Many Israeli companies specialize in helping outsiders send appropriate gifts to families who have lost a loved one.
Here are some pointers:
1. Choose a Local Gift Provider in Israel
Choose a local delivery service that is aware of Jewish mourning traditions. This guarantees cultural awareness and prevents delays.
- Verify the Recipient’s Information
Verify that the recipient of the gift has the right address and phone number. Ask a family member or a mutual contact if you’re not sure.
- Add a Private Note
Words may make a tremendous difference. Say something succinct and heartfelt: “I’m really sorry for your loss. I’m thinking of you from a distance.
- “I hope you find comfort and serenity during this trying time.”
- “May [name]’s memory bring blessings.”
4. Keep the Order Simple
Choose a modest, respectful gift and let the company handle the presentation and delivery. You don’t need to overthink it.
Why Your Present Will Matter
The world can seem far away to someone who is mourning. Receiving a box or a note from you during Shiva may serve as your friend’s first reassurance that they are not completely alone. that they are in the minds of other people. Despite the time difference, they are still surrounded by that love and camaraderie.
Presents for grieving friends are not just kind gestures. They are vital.
It’s possible that your acquaintance will forget what you wrote or what was in the basket. But even from a distance, people will remember that you were there.
Keep It Human
In times of grief, it’s easy to feel unsure. Should I send something? Is it the right time? Will it help?
Here’s the truth: reaching out is always better than staying silent. Your friend may not respond.
They may not be ready to talk. But your gift will say what words can’t. It will tell them you care, and that’s more than enough.
Where Can I Find Grieving Friends' Gifts in Israel?
You can send a thoughtful and polite present to a friend who is grieving in Israel with the help of Walwater Gifts Israel.
We provide kosher food baskets, condolence gifts, and a thoughtfully curated assortment of comfort goods designed especially for bereavement. We make it simple to send a gift from overseas that looks appropriate and genuine, regardless of whether your friend is sitting Shiva or is grieving alone.
To select a present and compose a note, visit Walwater Gifts Israel. Anywhere in Israel, we offer professional and polite delivery services.
We also offer gift alternatives for yahrzeits, unveilings, and other memory-related events all year round.
Walwater Gifts
The history of Walwater Gifts Israel Uniquely Designed Gifts dates back to 2004. At that time, our company emerged by offering adorable Baby Gifts and sweet Chocolate Bouquets specifically.
Our baby gifts corner expanded with the continuous patronage and support of our loyal clients and loved ones. We have already designed gifts like diaper cakes and baby clothes bouquets, which seem to be more popular nowadays, especially with expectant mothers, as they remark that they are “must-haves.”
As time passes, our friends and family notice our efforts and the fantastic ideas behind our gifts, encouraging us to expand and let people across Israel know about our business. With our unique gift ideas, it's no wonder that every recipient is amazed and brightened by their day.
About Us
Our primary focus is to create wonderful yet lovely gift baskets for Israel, ideal for any occasion or holiday. These gift hampers are set to be filled with the most fantastic yet exceptional trademark products in Israel, like cookies, wines, chocolates, and alcohol bottles. Our designers can also feature goods such as fresh fruits, cakes, tea, champagne, and many more.
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